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Shanti Miss Universe

Joined: 17 Nov 2006 Posts: 2360 Smiles: +95
14765
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 1:18 pm Post subject: |
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^LOL
I forgot mine. -.- |
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crazykiki Supermodel

Joined: 06 Dec 2006 Posts: 934 Smiles: +18
643 Location: canada
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 2:39 pm Post subject: |
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girl 1: girl 2... your mom
girl 2: YOUR MOM !
girl 1: no really your mom is over there _________________
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alexisgeek Miss Universe

Joined: 25 Jan 2007 Posts: 1527 Smiles: +26
2657 Location: VanCity
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 5:31 am Post subject: |
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I was with some friends and we were talking about the supposed existance of God, some sort of spiritual deity/overseer of all, creationism, evolution, origin of life on earth, cosmetology, aliens, and quantum physics.
friend1: So what about the pyramids? We only have theories about how they were built! The scientists, historians, and engineers of today can't even begin to explain how it was built without modern machinery! I really do think they were built by aliens!
me: Yeah... they could be landing pads for alien ships!
friend2 who was the only one who heard me: *laughs while looking at me*
me: *stares up at the "sky" with a big smile on my face*
Yes. I'm a geek. And I'm proud of it.  |
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pizzolon Supermodel
Joined: 03 Jan 2007 Posts: 633 Smiles: +17
747
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 1:47 pm Post subject: |
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"futuere"
means :
to fuck
in latin |
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Shanti Miss Universe

Joined: 17 Nov 2006 Posts: 2360 Smiles: +95
14765
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 2:41 pm Post subject: |
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| "I could so get busted for cocaine for holding this." |
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pink Supermodel
Joined: 17 Mar 2007 Posts: 568 Smiles: +2
74 Location: Toronto
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 3:45 pm Post subject: |
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teacher: during the exam you can use a paper dictionary but you cant sure them an-
............-miss whats a paper dictionary _________________
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Marianas Wench Supermodel

Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 927 Smiles: +53
1625 Location: Ontario
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 5:16 am Post subject: |
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It happened a couple days ago, but still... anyway, I was having trouble getting my shoes on...
'Cousin': Feet too big for your shoes *smirk*?
Me: Mouth too big for your face? _________________ I think you're just so pleasant, I would like you for my own... |
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miscELAINEous Miss Universe

Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Posts: 1218 Smiles: +13
1499 Location: Vancouver, BC
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 8:04 am Post subject: |
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"your entree today: chicken burger and fries, and your dessert: pork cutlets, carrots and potatoes." _________________ <3eL |
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luvthevalleyoh Beauty Queen

Joined: 04 Jan 2007 Posts: 484 Smiles: +38
1642 Location: Canada
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 2:17 pm Post subject: |
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"Give me seven reasons why you will not pee on this floor!"
LOL it was hilarious, sad thing is we only came up with 5. _________________
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Marianas Wench Supermodel

Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 927 Smiles: +53
1625 Location: Ontario
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 2:15 pm Post subject: |
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Mattie: ... you smoke a turtle.
Me: What the hell, how do you smoke a turtle?
Mattie: You light a match under it.
Me: WHAT
Mattie: It's from 'To Kill A Mockingbird'
Me: Hahaha, what?? 'Kay, 'kay, 'kay, what?
Mattie: Hahaha! You just said "KKK"!
Me: 'Kay, 'kay, 'kay, what? NO! I meant 'Okay', not 'KKK'! _________________ I think you're just so pleasant, I would like you for my own... |
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pink Supermodel
Joined: 17 Mar 2007 Posts: 568 Smiles: +2
74 Location: Toronto
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Posted: Thu Apr 05, 2007 2:34 pm Post subject: |
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m-your face
me- ya well yur face has glasses(puts hands upto eyes to make"glasses") _________________
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luvthevalleyoh Beauty Queen

Joined: 04 Jan 2007 Posts: 484 Smiles: +38
1642 Location: Canada
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:01 pm Post subject: |
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-E-mail to my dad: Can you see if your daughter wants to be the mascot at the grocery show on Sunday and Monday. She can wear the Jumbo Juicy hot dog costume with pride.
-Dad's reply: If you're serious, she'd love to do it.
-Dad's e-mail to me: Please be advived that is has been confirmed that you will participate in the Grocery Show on Sunday and Monday in the form of a hot dog.
-Dad's second e-mail to me: Correction, you will participate in the show in the form of a jumbo juicy elephant, please disregard the previous hot dog comment.
LOL!!!
i can't wait!!!!  _________________
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crazykiki Supermodel

Joined: 06 Dec 2006 Posts: 934 Smiles: +18
643 Location: canada
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 12:57 pm Post subject: |
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*while starting my family tree*
me: this guy has two sons what are their names?
grandma: *thinking* maybe david and christopher?
me: dad....whats their names?
dad: james is one of them and the other i cant remember...umm..ummm...umm....i think it may be christopher, yeah just put that it doesnt make a difference
my dad is soo weird, its someones name you cant just put anything.... _________________
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camita Miss Universe

Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 1483 Smiles: +50
1814 Location: never never land
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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short story behind it all...my neighbours are psychotic...and decided to build a 6 foot chain link fence..
My Grandpa: "They are building a change link fence? What are they...German???"
Brother: "But...we are not Jewish!"
hahahahahaha...
btw we aren't racist just to confirm that. |
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st3ph Miss Universe

Joined: 06 Dec 2006 Posts: 1270 Smiles: +54
2057 Location: Ontario, Canada
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 6:30 pm Post subject: |
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While deciding on a movie to watch in french class.
I wanted Finding Nemo, and so did my friend. Lots of people wanted the Lion King though.
Now my friend, who's like really...innocent I guess? She's got scissors that were randomly on the table and she goes
"We watch NEMO or I go EMO" and she makes a cutting action with the scissors.
It was so random and unexpected coming from her!!
hahaah _________________
s-to-the-t-e-the-p-the-h-the-anie
Under the great North star,
try to work out where you are,
in the silence of the sea...
miss you D
05/05/92-06/16/08 (L) |
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Marianas Wench Supermodel

Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 927 Smiles: +53
1625 Location: Ontario
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Posted: Fri Apr 13, 2007 7:00 pm Post subject: |
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(This might not make sense...)
Heather says:
It's like the difference between a hat and a toque. We all know it's a hat, it's just that toque is the more fun Canadian way of saying hat. That way when we see Americans wearing toques, we can somehow make up some bullshit story that toques originated in Canada by french inuits... thus owning the hat. Which then leads to us proving that Americans are poseurs.
Which was said after this original thought (Will it help it make sense?):
Heather says:
I've got a colourful vocabulary, I apologize.
J.P. says:
lol, different from the slang of nearly everyone
Heather says:
Say what now?
J.P. says:
you saying hussy, as opposed to nearly everyone else saying slut or some such word
Heather says:
Yes, I do say slut though. Though they're the same thing, I think of 'slut' more as a wild prostitute. Whereas a 'hussy' is a full-of-herself expensive whore... she was very 'high-end, holier-than-thou'.
I was trying to explain my differentials between 'hussy' and 'slut' though they're both bottom-line a slut anyhow. So I tried using 'toque' and 'hat' in the same comparison, though they're both basically hats, it's just a name to give a bit of difference. _________________ I think you're just so pleasant, I would like you for my own... |
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Shanti Miss Universe

Joined: 17 Nov 2006 Posts: 2360 Smiles: +95
14765
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Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:17 pm Post subject: |
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Me: "Well, now that I think of people as people..."
*they laugh*
Me: "The thing with me is, I usually think of hot guys as statues."
Loser: "So do I look like a statue?" *makes statue pose*
Me: "No. You look like... a pansy."
*they laugh*
Dude: "Easy there Manbo!" |
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Marianas Wench Supermodel

Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 927 Smiles: +53
1625 Location: Ontario
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 4:59 pm Post subject: |
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Me: *Phones Matt's house*
Matt: Hello?
Me: Yo.
Matt: Hi.
Me: What's up?
Matt: Nothing =]
Me: This isn't Matt, is it.
Matt: Nope. It's his dad.
Me: Oh, I'm really sorry.
Matt's Dad: That's okay. Just try him on his cell.
Me: Okay, thanks, bye. *Click*
Me: AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
That wouldn't be the first time that's happened... I seriously thought it was him. _________________ I think you're just so pleasant, I would like you for my own... |
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miscELAINEous Miss Universe

Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Posts: 1218 Smiles: +13
1499 Location: Vancouver, BC
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 5:19 pm Post subject: |
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me: "g likes little boys !"
g: *starts laughing*
me: "what, your not gonna deny it ? o_O"
i think i should be afraid ... _________________ <3eL |
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Shanti Miss Universe

Joined: 17 Nov 2006 Posts: 2360 Smiles: +95
14765
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 6:01 pm Post subject: |
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Me: "What are you talking about? I don't look 11 years old!"
Dude: "Yes, you do. Except an 11 year old has bigger tits than you!"
I just kept laughing. I would've kicked him or something, but I was too delirious to do anything but laugh. |
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Shanti Miss Universe

Joined: 17 Nov 2006 Posts: 2360 Smiles: +95
14765
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 3:00 pm Post subject: |
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Q: What is Crumbz' favourite snack?
A: She eats cream cheese off his ass.
(talking about a friend & her fucktarded bro)
Q: What do Boot and Centavo have in common?
A: They both practise beastiality religiously.
friend: "Nice usage of the word 'religiously'!"
(I know that's kinda sick. We were playing Hangman.) |
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crazykiki Supermodel

Joined: 06 Dec 2006 Posts: 934 Smiles: +18
643 Location: canada
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Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:31 pm Post subject: |
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teacher: so are there any pics of you and me from the trip?.....(not finished talking)
me: no....
teacher: or did you burn them already?
this teacher thinks i dont like him so hes always making jokes like that...during the new york trip we were in the subway so he goes to look to see if its coming and he says "ha..you would have liked to push me" _________________
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miscELAINEous Miss Universe

Joined: 05 Jan 2007 Posts: 1218 Smiles: +13
1499 Location: Vancouver, BC
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Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:34 pm Post subject: |
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*m looking out the window, ignoring everyone talking*
me: "M STOP CHECKING OUT OLD MEN"
m: "THERE ARE NONE !" _________________ <3eL |
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pink Supermodel
Joined: 17 Mar 2007 Posts: 568 Smiles: +2
74 Location: Toronto
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Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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person: what would you say if a surgeon came up to you shook his head and said im sorry about your son
*silent*
john:.....oh shit _________________
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camita Miss Universe

Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 1483 Smiles: +50
1814 Location: never never land
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Posted: Fri Apr 20, 2007 6:02 pm Post subject: |
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quote #1
C: (on the phone) "Err noooo we are definetly not in the van driving to Tim Hortons.....No we are at my house..."
Van makes horrible driving up hill noise
C's friend (on the phone) "What was that noise?"
C: "D singing...country music. she likes country music."
quote #2
Brother: "Uhhh I don't think these are my pants......"
Mom: "Those pants look a whee bit tight"
Me: "HAS ANYONE SEEN MY JEANS?"
Yes..my brother was wearing my pants. :O hahahhaha |
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DeadDisco Miss Universe

Joined: 06 Dec 2006 Posts: 2463 Smiles: +70
4802
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Posted: Sun Apr 22, 2007 2:15 pm Post subject: |
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| st3ph wrote: | While deciding on a movie to watch in french class.
I wanted Finding Nemo, and so did my friend. Lots of people wanted the Lion King though.
Now my friend, who's like really...innocent I guess? She's got scissors that were randomly on the table and she goes
"We watch NEMO or I go EMO" and she makes a cutting action with the scissors.
It was so random and unexpected coming from her!!
hahaah |
That reminds me of this teacher who was like, "Quit being nemo" and it sounded like "quit being an emo." It was pretty funny... _________________
Tick tock, you're not a clock
You're a time bomb, baby |
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pink Supermodel
Joined: 17 Mar 2007 Posts: 568 Smiles: +2
74 Location: Toronto
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Posted: Mon Apr 23, 2007 2:27 pm Post subject: |
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j and g were arguing about if you can change yor gender
teacher: g are you confused? _________________
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Shanti Miss Universe

Joined: 17 Nov 2006 Posts: 2360 Smiles: +95
14765
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Posted: Fri Apr 27, 2007 8:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Something about massages lol. Sorry. |
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camita Miss Universe

Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 1483 Smiles: +50
1814 Location: never never land
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Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 10:10 am Post subject: |
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C: "Omg do that again!!"
D: "Wait! Wait! Do it again so I can get it on video!!"
Me with a British Accent: "I AM NOT A FREAKSHOW!!!!" |
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Marianas Wench Supermodel

Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 927 Smiles: +53
1625 Location: Ontario
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Posted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 11:50 am Post subject: |
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Me: Aaaaaaaaaagh... *squint, squint, squint*
Grandma: What's wrong?
Me: Aaaaaagh. I got potato dirt in my eye! _________________ I think you're just so pleasant, I would like you for my own... |
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crazykiki Supermodel

Joined: 06 Dec 2006 Posts: 934 Smiles: +18
643 Location: canada
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 1:04 pm Post subject: |
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friend 1: i really want to see spiderman 3 but on friday its going to be totally sold out
friend 2: it doesnt look really good, i mean spiderman and the girl are a couple now...
friend 1: WHAT?? are you kidding, he's turning evil! *in a loud voice* hes turning black !!.......*pause*.....uh that didnt sound right.... _________________
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Shanti Miss Universe

Joined: 17 Nov 2006 Posts: 2360 Smiles: +95
14765
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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My friend's little brother has a funny-looking logo on his shirt.
"That looks like a pad!"
LOL and it does! |
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pizzolon Supermodel
Joined: 03 Jan 2007 Posts: 633 Smiles: +17
747
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Posted: Wed May 02, 2007 7:53 pm Post subject: |
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"you cant wait to LOVE ME."
making fun of summer love by jt.
oh how i hate him. |
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pink Supermodel
Joined: 17 Mar 2007 Posts: 568 Smiles: +2
74 Location: Toronto
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 2:19 pm Post subject: |
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teacher :you have to make a bored game for your culminating
Friend: get a divorce move back 5 spaces
hahahahahahahahaha
so simple yet i STILL laugh (it was yesterday) _________________
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Shanti Miss Universe

Joined: 17 Nov 2006 Posts: 2360 Smiles: +95
14765
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Posted: Fri May 04, 2007 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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"I'm gonna BRAIN your WASH!"
-"Stop teaching Mari bad grammar lol." |
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