Wrote this poem when i was angry, opinions?

avaxxsamantha · Fashionista Joined: 09 Dec 2006 Posts: 25 Smiles: 0 161

i wrote this poem a week ago and it took about ten min max. i know it's a lil rough and needs a lil editing.

locked lips , sealed tight
perspicacity is the key
no way would you have it
yet , you,ve started fire
take my words with a grain of salt
dumb **** , remove the cover-up
money can't buy anything shinier
than what is blinding you
illuminate your mind
think beyond the skin
can you see..?
my fuse appears no shorter ,
than the span of your attention
it's sad to say ,
you're an attention whore
whose attention's growing hoar
oops , guess you didn,t see this coming...
ten minutes into this ,
i've exploded
into complex lines of metaphors
that simply spell **** you