Grad Write Up! HELP!

cappuccino_cream · Posted: Mon Dec 10, 2007 11:39 pm Post subject: Grad Write Up! HELP!

How should I improve my grad write up? I don't want to be one of those typical students who share their gratitude for the past 5 years to their parents and teachers.....i want to actually write about my 5 years of high school experience, but any opinions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

These five years of high school was a far cry from what I expected. Many may think it’s a comfort zone, but I see it as a combat zone. Gossips and arguments lie in every nook and cranny of the school, waiting to be discovered. With all the drama we stirred up, we can create our own Laguna Beach. But c’est la vie! Life isn’t perfect and neither are we. The beauty about humans is we can forgive and forget, so don’t hold grudges for too long, it may cause wrinkles =) Best wishes to all future endeavors! “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success.” ~Robert Orben

i'm not too sure about the bold parts....they just don't really sound right lol
oh and when i say we..i mean like my group of friends
_________________

-- //<3 Disney Princess <3//

DeadDisco · Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 12:14 am Post subject:

Is that honest? Are those things you'd actually say, and how you actually feel about your highschool experience?
Because that's all that really matters.
_________________

Tick tock, you're not a clock
You're a time bomb, baby

emcee · Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 1:08 am Post subject:

DeadDisco is right on. There isn't really any other criteria that you should consider.

cappuccino_cream · Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 11:03 pm Post subject:

it's true...it's just that i want the english to sound good too lol
_________________

-- //<3 Disney Princess <3//

emcee · Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:25 am Post subject:

Okay, well I just went over it for grammar and such, it might flow better now, thigns that are edited are bolded:

These five years of high school were a far cry from what I expected. Many may think it’s a comfort zone, but I see it as a combat zone. Gossip and arguments lie in every nook and cranny of the school, waiting to be discovered. With all the drama we stirred up, we could have created our own Laguna Beach. But c’est la vie! Life isn’t perfect and neither are we. The beauty about humans is we can forgive and forget, so don’t hold grudges for too long, it might cause wrinkles =) Best wishes to all of your future endeavors! “A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success.” ~Robert Orben
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